


In the Forest of Fog and Remembrance

by onthedriftinthetardis (on_the_drift)



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, California Redwoods, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 01:31:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13730262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/on_the_drift/pseuds/onthedriftinthetardis
Summary: On a road trip in California, Tentoo reveals a friend's fate, endangering his relationship with Rose.





	In the Forest of Fog and Remembrance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skyler10](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyler10/gifts).



> Ficlet giveaway, based on the prompt, "forgotten forest" from Skyler10. 
> 
> This ficlet was greatly improved by the beta services of chiaroscuroverse. 
> 
> Thank you both so much! <3

The forest was silent, and a thin fog drifted on the breeze through the great California redwoods, sentinels over Douglas firs, red alders, rhododendrons, sword ferns and deep moss. The air was rich with the scent of dew-covered evergreen branches and decaying flora. The Doctor stood on the road at the forest edge, peering upwards to try to see the tops of the trees, but they vanished into the mist far above. He looked back down into the depths of the woods.

Rose was in there. They'd just been talking casually about memories and he'd said something monumentally bad, unthinkingly. She'd shouted at him to stop the car, then opened the door and run into the forest. By the time he'd pulled the car off the road, shut off the engine, and gotten out to follow her, she had vanished.  
  
His heart beat in a double rhythm familiar to him from the time when his chest had contained two hearts. He entered the woods. He was frightened, not of the forest, but that he'd finally gone too far and said something … done something … unforgivable. After almost four months, he'd finally told her about Donna.  
  
Brave, brilliant, and taking none of his guff, Donna had become his best friend the year before, when he'd been another man. (The same man, but a different body.) He'd taken Donna with him on so many adventures, and for one shining moment, she'd been the most important woman in the Universe. (A different Universe, but all Universes.) His counterpart would have had to take all of that away from her. He would have done the same.

And it was all because of him. Because he had come into existence. Which he wouldn't have done if his counterpart (who was him), out of vanity and fear, hadn’t refused to regenerate properly. But the fact remained that if it weren't for him, Donna would still have her memories, and Rose would be traveling time and space with the other him. He didn't blame Rose for running away.

She'd had her own terrible secret about Donna, but she'd told him the third day they were together, and it had been difficult, but they'd worked through it. He'd meant to tell her then, he really had, but he'd been a coward in the end. He'd promised himself he'd work out how to tell her the next day, and then the next, and now, over a hundred days later, he'd had to blurt it out without thinking.  
  
Rose wasn't hard to track through the virgin forest; her trainers had left distinct footprints in the mossy ground. She had run a good distance away from him.  
  
He swallowed the lump in his throat and ran. He brushed a rhododendron branch out of his way. He vaulted over hummocks draped with moss and ran past big-leaf maples, tanoaks, and California bay trees. Once he tripped over a root and fell on the forest floor; after that, he went more carefully.  
  
He heard the choked sobbing of someone too angry and upset to properly cry, and his heart clenched painfully. He hesitated. Should he give her more time? No, he couldn't put this off any longer.  
  
He rounded the curve of one of the enormous redwoods and found her sitting against the trunk, legs folded underneath her. She spotted him and angrily wiped the tears from her face, smearing her mascara. He knelt in front of her, and rocked back on his heels.  
  
"Oh, Rose... I'm so sorry."  
  
She glared at him. "What are you sorry _for_ ?"  
  
It was a test, and he was unsure of his answer. But that had never stopped him before.  
  
"So many things. But right now, I'm sorry for what happened to Donna."  
  
Rose got up and turned to go, and he followed, placing a hand lightly on her shoulder, imploring her to stay. She threw off his hand and glowered at him. He closed his eyes and looked down at the ground, penitent.

“Setting aside for the moment the fact that he did something awful, and you said you'd have done just the same. We've lived together for months and not a word! Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why, when I told you what _I_ had to do, didn't you tell me what _he_ did?!”

“I should have. I know. I'm so, so sorry. I … I was afraid of losing you. Afraid that once you realized I'd have done the same as him….”

“Because he didn't just erase her memories, he removed her _choice_ from her. New man, same old story,” she huffed.  
  
"Rose, please, listen to me. It's not just that she would have died, her mind would have self-destructed. Her brain wasn't able to handle a Time Lord consciousness. She would have died horrifically, her mind burning up from within. He… we… couldn't let that happen to her."  
  
"Then why didn't he take all the… the Time Lord-y stuff out of her? The same way you did with me when I looked into the heart of the TARDIS?" Rose demanded. "And don't tell me you wouldn't have spent a regeneration to do it, I know you better than that!”  
  
"Of course I would! That's not the point.”

“Then what is the point?” Rose challenged. “Why do it!”

“Because it was a fixed point in time, that's why!" the Doctor shouted back in agitation, waving his hand in the air. "We couldn't have changed it, no matter how much we wanted to."  
  
Rose's expression changed from anger to shock, then softened into sorrow. The Doctor heaved a sigh of relief. Once he had chosen to stay the same man, there had been no choice for any of them. Not really.

“Those horrible winged creatures… Reapers… they would have come?”  
  
"Yes. And torn holes between the Universes. Reality would have collapsed after all, in the end."

Rose stared at him for a long moment, then leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He stood stiffly for a beat, but then melted into her arms, allowing himself to hug her back.  
  
" 'm sorry," she murmured apologetically. "I should have known there was a good reason.”  
  
She held her Doctor close, and he stroked her back in soothing circles (in Circular Gallifreyan) until their breathing calmed. He drew back and took her hand in his.  
  
"Are we all right?" he asked, still a little anxious.  
  
"Yeah," she replied firmly. "We're all right."  
  
He smiled at her, his mood taking one of the abrupt u-turns he'd always been prone to, and hers elevated along with his. Impulsively, she brought his head down with her free hand and pressed her lips to his. He kissed her back slowly and thoroughly, trying to convey all of his love and gratitude in one kiss. If she could forgive him, maybe he could forgive himself, too.  



End file.
